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The Dogs Shall Eat Jezebel
Pastor Willie George was one of my mentors.
I asked Willie once “What is the craziest kids sermon you ever saw?”
Willie didn’t hesitate. He told me this story from 1974 about a bus ministry pastor in Hammond, Indiana who was a former Green Beret. It’s a sermon based on the following scripture.
“Dogs will eat Ahab’s wife Jezebel at the plot of land in Jezreel and no one will bury her.”
This was one of those old Baptist churches that had the baptismal up high, like a balcony.
The pastor was preaching about how wicked Jezebel was and coincidently she appeared in the balcony. Jezebel stated threatening the pastor and telling him she was going to kill him.
The pastor turns around and prophesies to Jezebel that the dogs are going to eat her.
Suddenly a pack of live dogs appear on stage with the pastor. At that same moment “Jezebel” disappears from the balcony and a mannequin dressed in the same clothes as Jezebel is pushed off the balcony.
Under her clothes, the mannequin was covered in peanut butter so of course the pack of dogs devoured “Jezebel”. I don’t think you could get away with that one today.
What is the craziest thing you have ever seen in Kids Church?
So, I was doing an object lesson one day to illustrate the effect of sin on our lives.
It started with a bottle of ammonia labeled sin and a bowl of 10 gold fish.
I spoke about how we enjoy life and love going about our days…just like the gold fish. But sin (enter the bottle) enters our lives and changes everything. I proceed to explain what the Bible says about sin and death…thne I slowly poured the bottle into the bowl.
You know what? Gold fish can live just fine in a bowl of water…but a bowl of water and ammonia – not so much. After all, the wages of sin is death.
So, yes – I killed 10 gold fish in front of a group of 120 kids. I wouldn’t recommend it.
Oh! My! Spencer, I can’t believe you did that! I suppose that is a lesson those kids will never forget. The things we do.
The lesson was “I Am the Temple of God”, so I obtained a very large cardboard box and transformed it into a Time Machine! Then I placed an old noisy electric can opener inside with a live microphone taped next to it. On the top was a metal funnel stuck in and a large metal jar lid packed with flash paper and and a nice plié of condensed smoke (which at that time I was a novice of using the condensed smoke!) the class began in the assembly room (“the old yellow barracks” of the very old Lakewood Church under Pastor John Osteen) and the Teacher is teaching on how wonderful it is to have God on the inside, being His house. In costume as a crazy professor, I suddenly make a great noisy entrance, rudely interrupting the teacher with declarations of having built a Time Machine that can take me to Solomon’s Temple!! I was so excited and would not listen to the teacher about how now we can be the temple of God! I kept going on about the precious things Solomon had acquired and built the awesome temple with them! Getting the Time ready to blast off I strategically dropped a lit match into the jar lid and the noisy can opener is dominating the airwaves as a huge ball of fire explodes and white smoke begins to billow up in a huge cloud and fill the entire classroom! Kids are wide eyed and suddenly I accidentally bumped the Time Machine and the jar lid does a flip in the air still billowing smoke.and mercifully lands right side up at the feet of this
Wide eyed little boy ! Everyone begans to
cough as the room is now smoky white and the fire alarms have been going off and thought I need to end this..so I sum it up real fast by saying, “..and the priests could no longer stand up to minister to The Lord as the Temple had filled with God’s glory! Everybody exit to workshops in the next building this way, NOW!!
We got all the kiddos out safely as they coughed and made their way to small groups, amazed at what was happening. This was remembered for a long time and Not Recommended to Do Anymore!! Lol!
I Love it. It is amazing the ideas that God gives us and He uses us even when we “smoke things up.” Great Story.
When I was fresh out of Bible Collage I was asked to do children’s ministry at a all black political rally in a housing project in Southern OH. I was the only white guy in the room. I did a salvation themed program. At one point I talked about without Jesus we have a black sinful heart and held up a big black heart. then I shared how Jesus would wash us in his blood and give us a clean white heart as I turned the heart over to reveal a big white heart.
I got a lot of very interesting somewhat angry looks from the adults in the room. I never made that mistake again ever since then its been a sinful heart and a clean heart and both hearts are red except the sinful heart looks sad and has band aids and cuts and bruises on it.
HI JERRY, Funny and embarrassing, BUT yes one of those things we will never do again. Thanks for sharing. Debbie