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Is Spanking Child Abuse?
This Sunday I am teaching on Boundaries with Kids. 
Children are not born with boundaries. This is why Solomon said; “A child who gets his own way brings his mother to shame.”
It’s the parent’s job to make the rules. It’s the child’s job to break the rules. This does not mean that your kids are bad. This is how kids figure out where the boundaries are.
When you make a boundary, your kids are going to test it, so you need to have a plan. Ask yourself, what is the consequence for breaking the rule?
When I was growing up it was the same for every kid in the world. You break the rule and you get a spanking. Not only that, but every adult in America was deputized to administer spankings to any child. It was not uncommon to receive spankings from teachers, next-door neighbors and parents of your friends.
Today attitudes have changed. Spanking is not accepted in some parts of our culture. In fact, some people think that spanking is a mild form of child abuse.
Is spanking a helpful discipline tool or is it a mild form of child abuse?
Before you tell me your opinion, I’m going to give you my thoughts.
The book of Proverbs is full of scriptures recommending spanking as a method of discipline, but it is NOT the only method of discipline. There are other biblical methods of discipline including: time outs, loss of privilege/reward, and allowing your kids endure the consequences of their choices.
Here are my thoughts on spanking.
- Spanking is not a punishment for being bad, but a discipline for changing unsafe behavior.
- Yelling is more damaging than spanking.
- Spanking should never be done in anger.
- Use a designated paddle. Never use your hands.
- Counting to three gives your kid a chance to change and avoid the spanking.
- Spanking is a last resort. If you can create safe boundaries for your kids without spanking, then do it.
What do you think?
Be nice. I’m OK if you disagree, but don’t try to spank me with your words.
I appreciate your viewpoint and it’s refreshing and encouraging to have someone address this topic. It’s such a sensitive area in our society right now, and any interpretation or view can be distorted and taken where it was never intended. In all truthfulness we all need boundaries and if our actions are not good there will be consequences. It is imperative that we seize the opportunity as parents to establish boundaries with our children in there early years so that there are no struggles later in their lives. Thank you for sharing your insight in this subject I pray this teaching will be received well.
Another discipline we used (when they could read) was making the kids look up ten Bible verses that show how they should have handled the situation, writing them down, then explaining them to us. Their flesh ALWAYS hated it, but in the end, the rod of the word effected a perfect and enduring change. We scaled the number of verses and other consequences to match the infraction.
I’ve written on this a number of times. Proper spanking is couched in love, and very beneficial to the child (not to mention, biblical). Done properly, it is never abusive and always helpful. I’m happy to provide links to my articles if anyone would like to read them.